Funny Merry Christmas Quotes
- “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
- “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.”
- “Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”
- “Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low ‘elf’ esteem!”
- “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
- “The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.”
- “Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.”
- “What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!”
- “I’m on the naughty list, and I regret nothing.”
- “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Unless you can’t sing. Then, just spread cheer silently.”
- “Why did Santa go to music school? Because he wanted to improve his wrapping skills!”
- “I put so much thought into your gift that now it’s too late to get it.”
- “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.”
- “I’m not saying you’re a grinch, but you have that resting Grinch face.”
- “I’m only a morning person on December 25th.”
- “The four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You dress up as Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.”
- “Why did Santa get a ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone!”
- “I’m not Santa Claus, but you can still sit on my lap.”
- “What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!”
- “This holiday season, let’s make it a rule never to say ‘You know, things could be worse.’ Because they could be Santa-rrific!”
Funny Merry Christmas Greetings
- “May your family be functional and all your batteries be included. Merry Christmas!”
- “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red. Cheers to a Merry Christmas!”
- “Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people only once a year. Merry Christmas!”
- “May your Christmas be like Netflix – full of joy, laughter, and endless entertainment!”
- “This Christmas, let’s hope Santa has Google Maps and doesn’t get lost.”
- “I put so much thought into your gift that it’s now too late to get it. Merry Christmas!”
- “Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low ‘elf’ esteem! Merry Christmas!”
- “May your family be functional and all your batteries be included. Merry Christmas!”
- “I’m only a morning person on December 25th. Merry Christmas!”
- “May your gingerbread cookies be spicier than your family gossip. Merry Christmas!”
- “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money. Merry Christmas!”
- “I’m on the naughty list, and I regret nothing! Merry Christmas!”
- “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. Merry Christmas!”
- “If you think I’m crazy now, just wait until after Christmas Day. Merry Christmas!”
- “This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included. Merry Christmas!”
- “Why did Santa go to music school? To improve his wrapping skills! Merry Christmas!”
- “I’m not saying you’re old, but if you were a snowman, you’d be a puddle. Merry Christmas!”
- “This Christmas, let’s be grateful for the gift of awkward family gatherings. Cheers!”
- “I hope your Christmas is as bright and cheerful as my credit card bill. Merry Christmas!”
- “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Or, you know, buy gifts. Whatever works. Merry Christmas!”
Best Funny Merry Christmas Wishes
- May your family be functional and all your batteries be included this Christmas.
- I’m sending you warm bear hugs, loving kisses, and earnest wishes for the wonderful occasion of Christmas. May you have a splendid Christmas filled with lights, songs, and cheer!
- May your Christmas be like a Hallmark movie, full of love, laughter, and a happy ending!
- This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included. Have a great one!
- Wishing you a Christmas season filled with joy, laughter, and awkward family photos!
- May your Christmas be so merry that you forget that your credit card has a limit!
- This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included.
- May your Christmas tree be like your math class – perfectly square and well-rooted!
- May your holiday season be more about joy and less about your waistline.
- Wishing you a Christmas filled with lots of joy, laughter, and inappropriate family members!
- This Christmas, may your boss think you are working hard, and your workmates think you are on vacation!
- May the calories of Christmas disappear by the New Year. But if they stick around, may they at least bring joy and happiness!
- Wishing you a Christmas season so bright, you’ll need sunglasses!
- May your Christmas be filled with more joy than the clearance rack at a holiday sale!
- This Christmas, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included.
- Wishing you a Christmas filled with love, joy, and awkward family photos!
- May your Christmas be as sweet and satisfying as finding the last cookie in the jar!
- Wishing you a Christmas season so merry and bright, you’ll need sunglasses to open your presents!
- May your Christmas be merry and your eggnog be spiked!
- May your Christmas be filled with joy, laughter, and all the good things that life has to offer!
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