90th birthday Jokes for Grandfather
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts! - I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised! - I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already! - Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! - Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet! - Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts! - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward! - Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing! - Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
He made a mint! - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts! - I used to run a dating service for chickens.
But I was struggling to make hens meet! - Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems. - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! - I’m friends with all electricians.
We have great current connections! - Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
He made a mint! - Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired! - Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet! - I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward! - Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park?
They woke up! - I’m friends with all electricians.
We have great current connections! - Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems. - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts! - I used to run a dating service for chickens.
But I was struggling to make hens meet! - Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired! - Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park?
They woke up! - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! - I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already! - I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised! - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! - I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! - I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already! - Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet! - Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! - Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
He made a mint! - Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired! - I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park?
They woke up! - I’m friends with all electricians.
We have great current connections! - Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems. - I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward! - Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
90th birthday Jokes for Grandmother
- Why did the grandma bring a ladder to her 90th birthday?
Because it was a step closer to being a centenarian! - How does Grandma stay so youthful at 90?
She’s got a great ‘ageless’ sense of humor! - What’s Grandma’s secret to a long life?
Lots of laughter and a daily dose of chocolate! - Grandma at 90 is like a fine wine: she gets better with age and has a great cork to boot!
- How many 90-year-olds does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Grandma’s brightness illuminates the room! - Why did Grandma always keep a pencil behind her ear?
For her “senior moments” of course! - What did Grandma say when she received a 90th birthday card?
“I’ll be back to thank you in 10 years!” - What do you call a 90-year-old who can still remember her childhood phone number?
An “old-school” grandma! - Why did Grandma start playing video games at 90?
She heard they were good for her joystick skills! - Why did Grandma always carry a map?
In case she got lost in her memories! - How many naps does it take for Grandma to feel refreshed at 90?
Just one—interrupted by several snacks and a few more naps! - Why did Grandma take up tap dancing at 90?
She needed a new way to step into her 90s! - What’s Grandma’s favorite exercise at 90?
Pushing her luck! - Why did Grandma start skydiving at 90?
She wanted to “fall” into her 90s with style! - Why did Grandma join a choir at 90?
To hit all the high notes of life! - Why did Grandma become a gardener at 90?
To watch her plants grow as old as she is! - Why did Grandma take up knitting at 90?
She was “stitching” together her life’s best moments! - Why did Grandma get a pet turtle at 90?
Because slow and steady wins the 90-year race! - What’s Grandma’s favorite app at 90?
Snapchat—because life’s too short to not have fun with filters! - Why did Grandma buy a skateboard at 90?
To keep “rolling” into her golden years! - Why did Grandma take up boxing at 90?
She wanted to show age who’s the undisputed champ! - Why did Grandma start a rock band at 90?
She wanted to “rock on” into her 90s! - What did the grapefruit say to Grandma at 90?
“You’re one in a peel-ion!” - Why did Grandma start writing jokes at 90?
She wanted to add a little ‘zest’ to her 90th year! - Why did Grandma start painting at 90?
To ‘brush’ up on her creative side! - Why did Grandma take up hula hooping at 90?
Because she wanted to keep things “hoop-larious”! - Why did Grandma join a circus at 90?
Because life’s a balancing act, and she’s the star performer! - Why did Grandma start baking at 90?
She needed a little extra “dough” in her 90th year! - Why did Grandma start karaoke at 90?
Because she’s the original ‘songbird’! - Why did Grandma start swimming at 90?
Because life’s too short to stay in the shallow end! - Why did Grandma start rock climbing at 90?
She wanted to reach new ‘heights’ in her 90s! - Why did Grandma start doing stand-up comedy at 90?
Because she’s always had a ‘stand-up’ attitude! - Why did Grandma start skydiving at 90?
Because she’s been falling for 90 years and still hasn’t hit the ground! - Why did Grandma start playing bingo at 90?
Because she’s always been a number one winner! - Why did Grandma start hiking at 90?
Because she’s ready to ‘trek’ through her 90s with a smile! - Why did Grandma start collecting stamps at 90?
Because she’s determined to ‘stick’ around for another 90 years! - Why did Grandma start weightlifting at 90?
She’s lifting her spirits and weights in her 90s! - Why did Grandma start stand-up paddleboarding at 90?
Because she’s always been on board with life’s adventures! - Why did Grandma start knitting at 90?
Because she’s weaving her way into the fabric of time! - Why did Grandma start gardening at 90?
Because she’s ‘blossoming’ into her 90s! - Why did Grandma start playing poker at 90?
Because she knows how to play her cards right in her 90s! - Why did Grandma start hiking at 90?
Because she’s ready to ‘trailblaze’ through her 90s! - Why did Grandma start playing golf at 90?
Because she knows how to keep her life on ‘par’! - Why did Grandma start playing the piano at 90?
Because she’s ‘keyed’ up for her 90th year! - Why did Grandma start biking at 90?
Because she’s ready to ‘pedal’ into her 90s! - Why did Grandma start telling jokes at 90?
Because laughter is the best medicine for a 90-year-old heart! - Why did Grandma start dancing at 90?
Because she’s ready to ‘tap’ into her 90s! - Why did Grandma start running at 90?
Because she’s always been in the ‘fast lane’ of life! - Why did Grandma start playing chess at 90?
Because she’s always three steps ahead in her 90s! - Why did Grandma start fishing at 90?
Because she’s ready to ‘reel in’ the good times in her 90s!
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